On my daily wanderings in Arizona I would often meet big hairy spiders, sometimes wolf spiders, often tarantulas. We nicknamed our backyard tarantula “Minky” for its lovely brown and black fur. The Texas spiders are a bit tougher. I ran into a hairless variety under Todd’s desk. Writing about it is evidence of my yearly dusting venture. The spider I came upon was a desperado living under my sweet shitzu’s fuzzy dog bed. No hair just large mean looking and reddish black. I was aghast at what I was going to overtake with Todd away.
Sometimes big hairless spiders step into our minds and we cannot reach a friend or sister fast enough to help take them out. Downloading the issue to a concerned friend or sister or aunt is instant relief.
Or is it.
I wondered why. The years have flown. Unto my hand
Cling weaker, sadder ones who walk alone – I understand. Unknown
The last couple months grief has been the hairless spider. I’ve not posted, but written on yellow pads. Marilyn, Todd’s Mom died and the most interesting relationship has developed. My ninety year old Aunt Virginia calls me on my cell about once a week and just asks me how I’m doing and we both know what she means. We visit and she does not tell me to move on or get over it she just stays with me
and the raw edge of grief is still present, and so is she.
Big Ray said:
Ah, the monsters of our souls? Trish I spent a lot of my life trying to hide from the monsters but, the endeavor seemed to do more harm than good. Kind of like trying to paint over wall paper; no matter how carefully you choose a color it never works and, you can still see the wallpaper. I came to the realization that these monsters in my soul were part of me. Once I came to that revelation I then set about the task of making them useful things instead of detractors from my being. All who I have loved and lost are carried with me every day by means of the good those folks brought to my life. Everybody has many moving parts that make a person. I take the part I liked the best and make it part of my total being so the best of that person lives on through me. Good things should never die and, by doing this you truly see the brilliance of what Jesus was actually talking about.” Whatever you do for the least of my brothers you do for me”. God Bless Go Forward.